Professional surfer Private Smith speaks candidly about his past mental health issues Instagram post is celebrating its 30th birthday.
“Oh man… 30 years and what a ride this life has been! No one told me that life as an opportunity gets better every year. Slowly the rules of the game are revealed day by day,” the athlete posted on Friday, January 3. “The magic just gets thicker, the colors clearer, the purpose sharpens, the love that surrounds me grows. My connection to life only deepens. I am so grateful.”
Smith, 30, went on to explain that “at times” he closes his eyes and goes back “to visit the version of himself that was struggling.”
“Shocked, depressed, suicidal, heartbroken,” he continued in the moving post, which also featured numerous photos of the surfer riding big waves, hanging out with friends and enjoying the beach. “I put my hand on his heart and say it’s all worth it!” Just wait, it’s all worth it!”
He concluded: “Thank you all! Let the Abundance flow and the light shine bright!”
In a March 2022 interview. with The IndependentSmith recounted a catastrophic injury he suffered while surfing in Indonesia that led to the surfer’s mental health issues.
“I heard this crazy, super peaceful violin,” he told the publication at the time, referring to the moment he crashed while trying to ride a wave. “I had one of those moments where I was over the whole bay looking down. I could see my friends in the lineup. I could see the boats in the bay. I could see the mountains. Then I suddenly realized that I was actually underwater.
He continued: “I felt like I might be leaving my body. The strange thing was that it was a very comfortable, very loving, euphoric state. There was no fear. It was like home.”
The somewhat euphoric feeling was short-lived – when the surfer regained consciousness, he couldn’t remember his own name or address. As a result of the crash, Smith said he suffered a severe concussion and later realized “something just snapped” inside him.
“I couldn’t even function anymore,” he explained at the time. “I had to spend 10 hours a day in my bed in the dark and just figure out what I wanted to do from there.”
After struggling with his mental health, despite seeing doctors, Smith said The Independent he decided to try psilocybin mushrooms as part of his “healing process”.
“It brought me back to my childhood, that fire in me as a kid,” he explained. “It reminded me that I am a good person and that I am here to do good in this world. It reminded me to use my head injury as a guide to healing.
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