Why Trista Sutter Suddenly Quit Special Forces: What You Didn’t See

Trista Sutterexit from Special forces made a surprise appearance on television, but it turns out there’s a lot going on behind the scenes that viewers didn’t see on Wednesday, January 15’s episode.

“When I came back from the beach the first day, I was in hypothermic shock. My lips were turning blue in the vehicle on the way back. It was bad. I was extremely lethargic,” Sutter, 53, revealed in an exclusive interview with Us Weekly. “It was really scary.”

Not long on Wednesday’s episodesaid the OG Bachelorette on Special forces soldiers she wanted to leave. According to Sutter, she realized it was time to go after a non-ventilated mirror room.

“I wanted to get to the end. I really did. I wasn’t one to just sign up for the show and get paid on the first day, you know what I mean? I wanted to challenge myself as much as I could and it’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and the mirror room is part of that, I wanted to get there,” she said us. “I thought it would be further, but because of what happened to me, they pulled me and I had to really connect on a human level with Billy (Billingham) and Q (Jovon Quarles).”

Sutter also recalled a relationship with trooper Rudy Reyes.

“When I was on the beach, I stopped Rudy and said, ‘I think I’m going to pass out.’ And he said, ‘Well, what do you want to do?’ I said, “I’d like to see a doctor.” And he said, “Well, you can’t, if you see a doctor, then you voluntarily withdraw.” … And he said, ‘I’m sorry, you have to either go to VW or move on.’ And I was like, ‘Okay, I’m not ready to go home,'” she explained to us. “So I just kept going and he said, after the mirror room, ‘I’m really proud of you.’ I thought you were going to give up on the beach but you didn’t and you kept going and that’s so important and I’m so proud of you.

Sutter called the endorsement she received from DS rewarding — and a sign that she may have accomplished what she set out to do on the show despite her quick exit.

“They saw that I gave a hundred percent – although my hundred percent was not as great as that of professional athletes and Kerry HartI was trying my best,” she continued. “So just knowing that they could see that I was giving 100 percent meant a lot to me. I have so much respect for them and what they have given to our country(s) and their countries. Connecting with them was really important to me.”

The reality star went into detail about her decision to leave the show, explaining that she took a long shower to warm up after returning from the beach.

“Before we started shooting (again), I saw the number 444 and I believe in angel numbers and guardian angels and God and I have tremendous faith and all that,” she said. “I went into it knowing or believing that my guardian angels were somehow watching over me and I went to bed. I woke up to the explosions—we all did—and an instant calm came over me, thinking, “You’re good. You got a lot out of these two days. Even though it’s only two days. It was like a lifetime.”

Sutter added that staff warned her that things would get more difficult if she stayed and progressed on the show.

“And it was already really hard!” she continued. “The in-between period – running with the pack which is basically a third of my body weight – was really tough. I’ve never been a runner and those were the hard parts, the tasks that I was actually excited about and thought I did really well at, even though I didn’t technically pass.”

On the show, Sutter said he didn’t want to be a “burden” to any of his co-stars.

“I wanted to challenge myself, but (not) put the burden on other people to help me,” she said us of the remark. “They shouldn’t have helped me. Golden (Tate) he was carrying my knapsack—you could see it at one point by the bridge—he had two knapsacks, one was mine. And I remember saying to him, “I think I’m going to go.” He goes, “Are you sure?” And mind you, this is when we’re running around trying to get ready, like we’re going, we’re going.

Sutter reiterated that even though she was only on the show for a short stint, it was a very fulfilling experience. She noted that fellow contestant Denise Richards (who was the second to leave) probably felt the same way.

“I have so much respect for what Denise was able to accomplish and she was the second one to leave,” Sutter said. “Everyone has a different purpose for being there. Everyone has their own individual reasons for leaving and it doesn’t take anything away from who they are and what they are trying to achieve.

Sutter concluded that she regained her “confidence” — as an individual and as an athlete — as a result of her appearance on the series.

“I learned that I can do hard things if I put my mind to it. And part of me regrets leaving when I did, now that I see everything they’ve been through,” she said. “But I just keep trying to remind myself of how I felt in that moment and that calmness that came over me, (how I did it) challenging myself with the experience and all the people I met, the camaraderie. I try to be grateful for all of this, but it’s hard. I would like to wake up and be like, “Yeah, whatever. Screw this piece. Keep going!”

Special forces airs on Fox Wednesdays at 8pm ET.